That Damn Bat!
by Let The Tumbleweeds Blow
Summary: Guarding the Master Emerald is a difficult job, especially when someone's always trying to steal it. Characters may be OOC!


**_I own no Sonic characters. Credits go to Sega. Credits to smosh for 'That Damn Neighbor' which is the video that inspired this story. CHARACTERS MAY BE OOC. REVIEWS CRITISIZING SUCH ISSUES WILL NOT BE TOLERATED!_**

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**Knuckles' POV**

_It was a nice sunny day. The birds were singing. The grass was green. The kids were playing. Everything was fine. Or at least I thought so because I got stuck with guarding the Master Emerald. I hate my job, but it's destiny that restricts me to this bull crap. My father and the grandfathers that preceded faced that fate and my sons and the grandsons to succeed the previous will also have to put up with it. The family were destined to do so. Forever. If the Master Emerald were to be stolen, Chaos knows what would happen._

On that sunny day, I built a fence surrounding the alter that the Master Emerald was placed on. Sonic noticed my success. I greeted him and he strolled over to me.

"Yo Knux!" he greeted back. "Nice fence. What's it for?"

"Well," I started. "It's to protect the Master Emerald from that damn bat, Rouge! She's always flying to Angel Island and standing next to the Master Emerald. I just know she's planning to steal it and probably sell it for a lot of money or something. If I let it get stolen, I'll have failed my family." I looked down as I finished, fearing that very scene will take place.

"Is that Rouge over there?" Sonic asked me as he pointed to where the Master Emerald was. I turned to see where he claimed Rouge was and there she was. Staring at us. Behind the fence.

"It's working, Sonic," I told him. "She's not going anywhere near the damn Master Emerald." My plan, little did I know, backfired because Rouge had a smirk on her face. She found a flaw in my system, so she flapped her wings and flew over the fence and landed on top of the powerful jewel. I noticed her there as I turned around and rushed to her to give her what she deserved.

"You better stay away from the alter before I beat your batty butt outta here!" I scolded. "You're not gonna stand anywhere me or the Master Emerald! Leave before you get what's coming to you!" I stormed back to Sonic, who was pleased with what I did.

"You sure told her off, Knux!" he congratulated. "I bet she's planning to wimp out and take your advice."

"She better..." I responded. I turned to check Rouge wasn't standing on the alter and found her sitting on a tree. Luckily for me, she didn't notice.

"Look at her, sitting there," I said to Sonic. "Like taking candy from a baby."

"I think we should have Tails take a look at the fence," he suggested. "He can improve it a lot. A password system! Laser beams! Security cameras! Everything!"

"That sounds like a great idea," I agreed. "But I think he's 'hanging out' with Cream, so he probably won't be here for a while."

"You're right," he said. "Besides, I think that guy has a crush on her if he's gonna say no to coming here." Considering those situations, we didn't know what to do. Sonic disappeared for some reason and just then, Rouge appeared on the alter behind my back. I was surprised to sense her there after hearing my warning.

"I told you to get outta here!" I shouted as I turned around. "Now I'm gonna-" I was stopped as Rouge was no longer there. "What the hell?" She then reappeared with binoculars and began to sight-see next to the Master Emerald.

"Don't sight-see next to the Master Emerald either!" I nagged. She jumped to the tree and came back with a baseball and a bat.

"No baseball either!" I shouted. "You better- OW!" She hurled the ball and bat at me as I was about to finish my sentence. I rubbed my head in pain before finding Rouge with Shadow's motorcycle.

"I don't even know how you did that," I admitted. "That's badass. I'm not even mad at you anymore." As I turned around, she pulled a Master Emerald shard. As I turned back, I saw the shard and the Master Emerald, no longer whole.

"PUT THAT BACK NOW!" I screamed. A Chao suddenly appeared in front of the Master Emerald as Rouge put the piece back.

"You better not walk your Chao around the alter," I warned Rouge. "If I see piss or poop anywhere, I will kick you and the Chao's ass all the way to Central City!" She flew herself and the Chao back. Sonic came back with an explanation.

"I asked him to come over," he started. "But he said he'd do so later. Nice idea to put tacks on the fence, by the way! She'll never mess with you again!"

"The Master Emerald is safe from theft once again!" I added. "She better not-Wait a second. How the FiretrUCK did you get here then?"

"What do you think?" the idiot answered. "I spin-dashed through the fence."

I threw him to the sky and punched him as he fell, sending him back to the beach.

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**_That was wierd. I don't know why I typed this crap up. Anyway, check out UpbeatButNegative's profile for more stories!_**


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